Looking for advice that could truly make a difference in your marriage? We’ve scoured the internet for the best insights, straight from real people who’ve lived through it all. These 21 pieces of advice should be in every marriage manual—and you’re about to find out why. Ready? Let’s dive in.
1. Resentment: The Silent Relationship Killer
Ever felt like you’re holding a grudge over that one time they left the dishes out? That’s resentment creeping in. “Resentment is the silent relationship killer. If you feel it, talk about it, and be ready to act if your partner feels it. Once resentment hits a certain point, there’s no recovery.” — u/Bluezephr
2. Communication Isn’t Just Talking—It’s Listening Too
When your partner is stressed, do you know what they need most? Sometimes, it’s not advice; it’s just a comforting hug. “If you ever find yourself struggling to connect with your partner when they are struggling with something, ask them which of the five they need right now: attention, affirmation, advice, assistance, or action.” — u/baltinerdist
3. It’s Always You and Your Partner Against the World
Think of marriage like a team sport. “Marriage is a team sport. It’s you and your spouse on one team, and everything and everyone else on other teams.” — u/baltinerdist
4. Kids Are Adorable, Tiny Enemies
Let’s be real—kids are wonderful… but they’re also tiny, adorable energy vampires. “It’s you and your spouse against the enemies. Tiny, adorable, helpless enemies determined to suck every ounce of energy from you.” — u/DirtyMerlin
5. Love Isn’t a Constant High—And That’s Okay
Feel like the spark fades sometimes? You’re not alone. “Understand that love is an ebb and flow. Some days you won’t feel so in love with your partner, and that’s OK. This is normal in long-term relationships, and it passes with the right person.” — u/no_tori_ous
6. Public Partner Bashing Is a Big No-No
“Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than people shit-talking their partner in public. It’s one thing to tease and playfully poke fun at each other’s foibles with friends. But the dirty laundry must be aired privately in a safe and supportive environment.” — u/SnuggleBunni69
7. Let Them Walk Away—Sometimes They Need It
Your partner storms out during a heated argument. Are they ignoring you? “Don’t shame your partner for walking away when their emotions are getting too high. They may not be ignoring you or dismissing you, but trying to wrangle their emotions.” — u/StarFighter-51
8. They’re Not a Mind Reader—Spell It Out
“They’re not a mind reader: Whatever you expect, whatever is on your mind, spell it out clearly.” — u/Amarminalie
9. Timing Is Everything—Especially for Tough Talks
Yes, honesty is important. But is bedtime really the best moment to dive into a heavy conversation? “There is a time for honesty, but right before bed, a movie, or a big event is NOT the right time.” — u/StarFighter-51
10. Marriage Is About Growing Together
“Throughout marriage, you and your partner will inevitably change over time. It is important to make a conscious effort to adjust and change together.” — u/Kinda_Ok_Upstairs
11. The Root of Most Arguments? Miscommunication
“Any qualms we’ve ever had usually stemmed from one of us not communicating effectively.” — u/Luke5119
12. “Tell Me What You Think I Said”
“Something I learned after 25 years: ‘Tell me what you think I said.’ So many fights happened because he ‘heard’ something other than what I said. Hearing is NOT the same as listening.” — u/foureveralways
13. Marriage Counseling Isn’t a Sign of Failure
“Marriage counseling. Seriously. Even if you think nothing’s wrong. It helps with communication, keeping trust, and intimacy.” — u/AllLemonsNoLemonade
14. Keep the In-Laws Out of Your Fights
“As someone who is divorced and made mistakes, however stressful things get, never get your in-laws involved in your arguments.” — u/PromiseMental275
15. Learn Their Love Language, Not Just Yours
“In addition to the attachment styles, learn their love language and make an effort to show them your love in their own language, not just yours.” — u/snufflepupagus
16. You Don’t Have to Do Everything Together
“You don’t have to do everything together; explore your own interests. Time to yourself is good and allows you to enjoy the things you do together.” — u/Unique-Student-9955
17. Never Stop Dating Your Partner
“Don’t ever stop falling in love and dating your partner. Keep doing the stupid things that made you laugh until your stomach hurt.” — u/Mizerooskie
18. Check In When Things Are Good, Not Just Bad
“Do relationship check-ins when things are going well (usually during times of upcoming transition for us), not just when there are problems.” — u/History_Obsessed
19. Celebrate the Little Moments
“Vocalize joy. My wife and I constantly just blurt out ‘happy’ when we are enjoying a good moment.” — u/BadWookie
20. Planned Romance? It’s Not as Unromantic as It Sounds
“People hate ‘planning’ sex because they feel like it should be spontaneous and carefree… but in reality, we are busy! Communication lets you both know what to expect and allows everyone to get in the right headspace.” — u/blewberyBOOM
21. Remember, You’re Both Doing Your Best
“I’ve been married for 20 years. It’s about really listening and sharing a sense of humor. And also knowing that the other person’s intentions are good, even if they aren’t perfect.” — u/OddSkill9557
What’s your favorite piece of marriage advice? Share your thoughts in the comments below! Let’s help each other build stronger, happier relationships by sharing the tips that have made a difference for us.
